he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
