I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
