i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
