We're facebook friends in real life
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
