thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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