He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
