You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize