i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Randomize
