So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
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