What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
