I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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