your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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