I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
