if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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