Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
