proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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