The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize