I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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