goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
