Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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