You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
