3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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