guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
