I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
