why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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