why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
she looked like the before picture.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
