My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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