It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
BRING THE BAGELS
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
