You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
