forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Randomize
