dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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