she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
we should paint friendship bongs
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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