Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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