So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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