she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
there was a trapeze. enough said
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
