I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize