oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize