Where did you get a picture of my penis
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
