I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
