and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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