i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
