and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
