Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
