yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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