Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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