Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
