You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Boobs are out for the taking
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
We're too hungover to prance.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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