I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
where am i from again
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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