well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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