I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
