who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
