You're so nebulous sometimes
id be glad to
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
