this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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