Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You've changed since you got that strap on
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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