I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
