I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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