Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
