you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
