Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
